The one when it might be good…

The beginning half of the tww wasn’t bad at all.  Vacation was a great distraction.  Being out and about at times didn’t really get in the way of my injections too much.  There was one night mid-week where we were out at a restaurant and I started to get it ready, but then everyone was finishing up and said we were going back to the house rather than to another location, so I just waited and did it a teeny bit late at the house.  On the last night, we were going to be out at the injection time, so I brought everything with us.  I asked the waiter for ice, put it in a Ziploc we had brought and stuck it in the back of my shorts.  I put the PIO in my bra to warm.  When it was time, we went to the restroom.  It was the kind for just one person.  There was someone already waiting for the women’s room, so we went into the men’s.  It felt a little weird, rushing it and being in a bathroom of a restaurant.  And halfway through, a guy knocked, which made my husband really anxious for us to finish.  When we were finished, my husband stepped out first and the guy stepped forward to come in.  The look on his face when he had to step back for me to come out as well was priceless.  I apologized and said my husband had to help me with a medical thing and he was very kind about it.  But it was a pretty funny experience. 

I’ve had minor cramps since the day of the transfer.  Which I also had with my fresh transfer, but not to this degree.  On Saturday, 5dp5dt, I had some weird feelings that I didn’t have before.  I think I finally experienced what others refer to as a “pulling” sensation.  Didn’t really know what it meant before, and I couldn’t explain it any other way.  We were back from vacation, so I ran out to Target that night to pick up a couple FRER tests.  They were on sale that if you bought 2 boxes (4 tests total), you get a $5 Target gift card for next time, and they had $3 mail in rebates on the boxes.  Score!  So I did one Sunday morning, 6dp5dt, and damn it if there wasn’t the faintest second pink line!  I could barely see it.  But I know from past experience how stark white that spot looks when I’m not pregnant.

I don’t know if you can even really tell from this pic, but I promise, it’s there!
I took another this morning and it’s still faint, but just a hair more “there”.

I’ll take the others tomorrow and Wednesday, and then Beta is Thursday.

My stomach has felt funny today and yesterday.  And I have some lower back pain today. I feel bloated, but since this was a FET, not a full IVF cycle, I’m wondering if that’s just due to what I’ve been eating. 

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I am worried that this could be just a chemical pg as that seems to happen a lot here.  So even if I’m happy with my beta numbers, I think I’m not going to truly believe it until I see it. I know a few of you ladies have had chemical pg’s. If it’s not too painful, please let me know. Did you see anything on a scan? Do you see the gestational sac and yolk sac?  I’m assuming you don’t see a fetal pole or hb, but I’m wondering where that line is between chemical pregnancy and actual pregnancy. Obviously you can’t tell from betas. 
I’m obviously getting ahead of myself even as I say I won’t really believe it. I’m already picturing telling everyone. 

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37 thoughts on “The one when it might be good…

  1. Congratulations! My understanding is that a chemical pregnancy is that you get a positive pregnancy test but it doesn’t show up on the first ultrasound. When is your first blood test? Mine was 9 days after my 5-day transfer, can I get a second one for days later to make sure the HCG levels had doubled a couple of times. I will say that after I transfer it doesn’t get easier after a positive because then you’re waiting for the next set of bad news no matter how positive you try to be… wow I sound like a Debbie Downer! That’s just what I’m going through waiting for my second ultrasound after four rounds of IVF 🙂

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    1. You don’t sound like Debbie downer. I totally get what you mean. I haven’t had a chemical pg’s right an MC before, but I read of them so often on here that I’m just worried. It’s obviously quite common. My first beta is Thursday which will be 10dp5dt. If that’s positive, the second is 2 days later, and if that’s good then the 3rd is a week later. If that’s good then I get an US 1 to 2 weeks later. So I’m hoping its late enough to detect a hb. I’ll still be nervous after that, but I think I’ll relax a little knowing it’s not chemical.

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  2. This is so freaking exciting! I’m so so SO happy for you! It’s so hard not to worry and be consumed with line darkness and beta numbers but today you are pregnant! Be excited for every day you get with this little one and be positive for the future. Easy to give that advice, hard to take. Don’t beat yourself up for feeling crazy or worrying too much, this is a really tough process. Enjoy the feeling and my fingers are crossed for great numbers!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you thank you thank you! You always say the greatest things. Seems so simple, but apparently it took you saying it to me. “Today I am pregnant”. Wow. I guess I’m so used to the constant waiting of infertility I didn’t even fully feel that. I was waiting to see if the line got darker tomorrow and Wednesday, and waiting for my betas, and waiting to see that first scan to see if it’s real. I will try my best to take your advice and be more present in my now.

      How are you doing?? I’m anxiously awaiting your next post. If you haven’t actually started yet, you must be super close! Xoxo

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      1. Oh yea I definitely see it. It’s been a while since I did this so I did a quick edit on your pic and it’s even more obvious on the first one when you take some of the brightness out…

        Taking me back to Baby Gaga days when there was a whole thread dedicated to editing girl’s tests to see if we could see a line. HAHA!

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Thanks!
          I hate what it robs us of. I pictured telling DH in a fun way, but of course, he knows what’s going on, so he’s anxiously waiting with me. Even when I showed him the first stick on Sunday morning, it was the most anti-climactic thing ever. He didn’t show any excitement. I was so disappointed, so I asked him about it. He told me he remembered me telling him that the shots have HCG, so it could just be from that and he didn’t want to get his hopes up before hearing the numbers from the dr. When I explained the only shot that has HCG is the trigger shot before egg retrieval, which we didn’t have this time, he perked up. It’s almost like he knows too much now, he had his info mixed up, but knowing that kept him from realizing that this was a true positive test. Haha.

          Liked by 2 people

          1. Yeah I know exactly what you mean. I used to have these grand ideas of how I would tell my husband too…i think after you have waited so long it doesn’t seem real, and your scared to believe. infertility steals so many moments. So unfair!

            When do you go for your Beta? Hopefully you get great numbers and then can relax a little!

            Liked by 1 person

            1. Tomorrow morning! And then, since I know I’ll have an actual number, my second one will be on Saturday morning. I’m not sure relaxing is in the cards! haha

              I suppose the one positive is that the people who know what we’re going through are going to be all the happier for us right?

              Liked by 1 person

  3. I had two IVF chemicals. The first was the night before I was meant to go in for my 5 week scan and the other was around 4 weeks even earlier. My betas were really low which was a bad sign. I got a second line initially but then it got fainter after a few days. Anyway, crossing my fingers for you!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks for your response. I’m sorry you had to go through that. I’m hoping for high numbers of course. I’ve heard lower numbers can indicate a chemical pg. My lines are still faint, but they’re definitely getting darker, so I’m still hopeful, just worried at the same time. You know how it is!

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