Yesterday morning when I got ready for work, I decided to wear my “good luck” bracelet and earrings that I wore all through our last cycle. Since my BFN, I’ve been taking the opportunity to wear other jewelry. But I’ve been hoping for the insurance approval to come through for the FET, so I figured I’d put them on. Around lunchtime, I had a sudden urge to check the clinic’s patient portal to see if there was any news. There was a message waiting that it had been approved and they had ordered my meds and to stop taking BC last night! Yay! I called the pharmacy right away to go over the order with them since I still had a few things left over from last month, and they couldn’t even see the order yet, so I must’ve looked for that message right after they posted it which is kind of funny. So meds are being delivered tomorrow and I’m just waiting for CD1 to show her annoying face.
So about my sister. This is just something I was so thankful for, and I guess it just made me want to share. We were recently at a gathering of sorts. Someone sat next to me and was chatting with me. This person knows that we’re struggling to have a baby, but does not know that we’re doing IVF (and even if they did, in all likelihood, they do not understand what it involves physically, mentally, and especially emotionally). They started saying some things that were meant to be reassuring, I’m sure, but because of what we’re going through specifically, were actually slowly breaking my heart with each word. I could feel the tears forming in my eyes. My sister was sitting on my other side and was not part of the conversation, but she could hear what was being said. She discreetly reached under the table and put her hand on my leg and I reached down and put mine on top of hers and she just held my hand while I endured these words, until I was able to successfully change the subject.
I was so grateful for this simple act. I felt like I sucked the support right through her hand and was able to keep myself together. This is one of the reasons that I knew I wanted those closest to us to know what was going on (even though I’m totally lying about the timing to them… They all think that our appointment to even discuss an FET cycle is still a few weeks away). We all need support sometimes. Sometimes at totally unexpected moments when they just happen to be in the right place at the right time. This is a difficult path we’re all on.
I hope you all have your trusted people who are able to be there for you when you need it. Anyone else have stories of perfectly timed support?