The one with the “not good news”


The Dr. called.  “I’m not calling with good news, I’m sorry.”  I was surprised it wasn’t one of the many nurses that called.  But I was glad to hear directly from my Dr.  She said to stop meds, have a few drinks, a good cry, a manicure, and then get ready to go again.  I think I will.

I asked if we could do the FET this next cycle, but she said they need to submit to insurance to do the next cycle.  So she was calling in a BC scrip for me to start on CD2.  We set up a follow-up appointment for June 13th.  I’m guessing I’ll be on the BC for 3ish weeks, and then start a medicated FET cycle.  She’s very positive about the quality of the 4 embabies we have on ice.  She said that on transfer day, they transferred the best graded one, but the others had caught up to that quality by the time they were frozen.

I called DH at work to tell him.  He confessed that he hadn’t thought this one was going to work.  I had told him how some clinics see a better success rate with frozen, and in theory, it might be because your body has a chance to go back to normal.  That made sense to him, so he just thought that’s how it would go.  He always says because we’ve had to try so much, our kids are going to be that much greater (than they would’ve been if it was easy I guess…).  Today he said it’s ok this one didn’t work because that embryo was a total brat, he could tell.  Which I suppose some people (the ones that feel strongly that an embryo is their baby) might find cold, and maybe even offensive.  But it made me laugh, and that’s exactly what I needed right then.




34 thoughts on “The one with the “not good news”

  1. I’m so SO sorry that this wasn’t the news you were hoping for. I hope you and your husband can take time to heal and spoil yourselves because this journey can drag you through hell and back. Your positivity is so great and moving forward, thinking about the next cycle can be therapeutic. Lots of good thoughts are being sent your way!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I’m so sorry you got bad news. That phone call is the worst but it’s nice your doctor called and sounds like she had some good advice. I admire your positivity and your husband’s sense of humor. Sending hugs and positive thoughts for your next transfer!

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Yes but also, the thawing process with a FET, filters out the ‘weaklings’ amongst the embryos. If they make it through they are little warriors! But yes it also gives your body a chance to recover plus I felt way more confident and stronger mentally through our FET. I really hope the next time is it for you x

        Liked by 1 person

  3. I’m sorry it didn’t work out. My cycle failed too. Good idea to go out and have some drinks or have a bath now and just do all the things you couldn’t. I’ve also read some great things about FET and great that your frosties are such good quality.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks. I’m sorry yours failed too. It totally sucks. But I agree, I have a big bottle of wine waiting in my fridge for when I get home tonight. We’ve got to take advantage during these unfortunate in-between times.


  4. So sorry to hear this one didn’t work. You seem to be handling it so well, I absolutely fell apart when I found out my FET ended with a chemical pregnancy. But, I am slowly healing and you will too so that we can gather our strength and try again!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I think it’s because even though I was “PUPO”, I wasn’t ever “pregnant”. You had a positive test and then it was ripped away. I would be falling apart too if that had happened to me. But I never got a positive. Moms heal themselves and move on for the sake of their children, so that is what we will do! ❤️

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Oh darling, I’m so sorry! I know it’s never easy to face those feelings of disappointment, especially I can only imagine after going through the whole IVF process. Your doctor’s advice was spot on though. Take a bit of time to try and recover (and have some of those mojitos at your favorite place!), and then keep trucking forward. Sometimes, that’s really all we can do! You guys will be amazing parents, so never give up on that! Sending love and prayers! 💜💖

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks so much for the encouragement! I was actually wondering if maybe we should make the trek up to that place and indulge in some mojitos before we get going again, since I think we’ll end up with the FET just before vacation! Great minds think alike! We’re not giving up any time soon, thank you!!

      Liked by 1 person

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