The one when I thought I f*cked it all up

I mentioned I was sick this past Monday when I got the instructions that said to stay the same on the Gonal-F and to add Menopur?

Yesterday, Wednesday, I had more blood work and an ultrasound.  Then I went to work.  I checked a couple times in the patient portal for the new instructions, but all that was there was the email from Monday.  I decided to read it over again just for the heck of it.  It said:

“Good morning.  Your blood work results are in and have been reviewed.  Here are your instructions:


Continue to take 187.5 iu of Gonal-F…” blah blah blah…

When I first saw this on Monday, while sick and probably half asleep, I assumed Estradiol was a blood result they were telling me.  I didn’t really know what it was, I was just concerned with the meds.  Yesterday, I decided to Google it and see what it was.  Imagine my panic when I saw this:







OH MY GOD.  This wasn’t a test result??  This was instruction to take Estrace??  The medication that I have sitting at home that I could’ve taken on Monday and Tuesday nights but didn’t?  (No, it did not occur to me that Estrace is the med that comes after stims is over…)  So here I am panicking that I f*cked the whole cycle by completely missing 2 doses of something.  I call my care team and wait and wait and when it finally says it’s transferring me to someone, it just goes to voicemail.  So I leave a message saying that I might have effed everything up and I need to know how bad it is and what to do.

Luckily, they called back pretty quickly.  The nurse that called was one that I’ve dealt with at the office before, and I know she’s calming and funny, so I was relieved to have her.  She asked what happened and I explained in a rush “I was looking over my orders from Monday because I’m waiting for today’s to come in.  I was sick on Monday and reading it on my phone and I think I made a big mistake.  It says ‘here are your instructions’ and it says estradiol 101.  I thought that was a test result but I looked it up and it says it’s the Estrace, but I didn’t know it was a med and I didn’t take it!”  She calmly explained that it was only a test result.  She said the word is also the generic name for Estrace, but what I was reading was my result.  She told me I could calm down and there was nothing to worry about, I didn’t mess anything up.  She was a complete sweetheart about it and I think I now love her.

A little while later, my new orders were posted.  I was told to add Cetrotide, and to increase my Gonal-F.  So I’m up to 3 shots a night.  I read about Cetrotide being really stingy so I treated that one the same as the Menopur, taking it out and mixing it and letting it sit for about 15 mins before injecting it.  With the Menopur, as soon as you push in the liquid to the powdered vial, it dissolves.  The Cetrotide took a bit of swirling around, I didn’t think it was all going to dissolve.  And I was nervous about how much more liquid it was.  It’s a prefilled syringe, you squirt all of it into the powdered vial, then draw it all back in.  It seems like so much more.  I was really scared about them last night for some reason.  After I mixed those two, it was time to take the Gonal-F, so I had DH do it.  Then I laid down with my ice pack to get numb for the other two.  When DH went to get them after a few minutes, I actually was dreading it so bad I started crying a little.  Luckily DH is patient.  Because I tell him the same instructions every time.  Like he forgot from last night that he needs to hold the needle straight the whole time without moving it, and to push the plunger slowly and then hold it for a few seconds before he pulls the needle out.  So I pinched the spot and looked away and he did the injection.  The Menopur gives me a headache almost instantly.  And the Cetrotide did sting a bit, and it took awhile because I made him go so slow, but it wasn’t really that bad.  My tears weren’t really justified.  I guess maybe it’s the hormones?  I rubbed the spots to try and “distribute” the meds while he went and heated up my heating pad.

So, that’s the drill for tonight and Friday night, and I have blood work and an ultrasound again on Saturday morning.  No sleeping in for me!  I also have a massage scheduled for Saturday.  And pedicure on Tuesday after work.  Normally I would feel guilty spending money on those, they’re more like a treat.  But not this time!  I’ll take all the luxurious pampering I can get, thank you!




8 thoughts on “The one when I thought I f*cked it all up

  1. Great job with all the injections and treating yourself! That’s so important to keep your sanity. You also deserve it and much more for what you and your hunny have to endure. Fingers will be crossed for a great ultrasound 🙂


    1. Thanks! And my massage was bumped up to tonight. I actually have to leave for it right after we do my shots. And then I’ll come home and go to bed. My husband thinks this sounds like perfect timing and so relaxing. I’m bummed it’s at 9pm! But whatev, all I have to do is lay there, so I’ll be good! zzzz…

      Liked by 1 person

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