J is one of my oldest, dearest friends (I’m lucky enough to have two). We met in high school. She has two kids now, and she lives out in the boonies, and I’m working a second job on the weekends, so we don’t get to see each other as much as we used to, or would like. But the other night we met up for dinner at our favorite restaurant. She had known that we were going to have a consult with an RE, but I hadn’t told her about it, or the subsequent testing, or the follow-up yet.
After catching up on some other stuff, I finally managed to spit it out. It was a relief to talk to her about it. She didn’t offer any cliché responses, or dumb advice. She just listened and supported. She and her husband had both of their children without medical assistance and without trying for too long, but her second pregnancy was high-risk (a blood thing where her body was basically attacking the fetus). Now, she’s a supportive, good friend anyway, but I feel like that experience, though different from what I’m going through, gives her a unique perspective. She spent the entire second pregnancy terrified that she’d lose her son, she was completely helpless to do anything about it, and her choice to have any more children was basically no longer hers since any others would be like that as well. So she can totally empathize with those aspects of this.
This morning I got a text from her with a screenshot of something IVF-related on Pinterest. Apparently she’s been looking up “supportive crap” (her words, haha) just so she can understand what’s going on and be supportive. This is why she’s been my best friend for 18 years! Can I blame it on the hormones yet that it made me break down in tears as I was trying to get ready for work??